


strength

by julamei



Series: the lucy chronicles [6]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 18:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8068126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julamei/pseuds/julamei
Summary: there are different kinds of strengths and many shades of pain; lucy's are less straightforward and more subtle.





	

“Nothing made you feel so useless as another person’s grief.”

-Laini Taylor

* * *

The gravity of their abilities strikes her at odd times: Natsu can summon fire that won’t burn him, Gray can create with ice anything that his imagination dreams, and Erza carries her own personal, limitless arsenal with her. Even in Fiore, where magic is a commodity sold in stores, their gifts are not commonplace; they possess true magical power, the kind that grows and develops in the soul.

Lucy has learned to feel it in her veins and taste it in the air.

That day, magic set her skin abuzz – it was that abundant among these trees. The magic lay thick and cloying around them as if draped from the trees. The day was cloudy with a strange rainfall that was more mist than droplets. The moisture clung to Lucy’s eyelashes and dampened her hair as they trekked through the trees.

She and her team had taken up a challenge, not a request, to defeat a lone, dark mage who dwelled in these woods. He’d decisively defeated all the others who’d come after him, leaving them not beaten but weeping and utterly broken and deplete of their magical energy. Tales of his formidable power spread through Fiore and finally enticed her and her team.

And now, she had the distinct feeling they were encroaching on forbidden territory, trespassing into what felt like a distinct world unto itself, leaving her wary and on guard. As a Fairy Tail mage, she was not stranger to intimidating situations, but the unique quality of their surroundings gave her pause.

“Be on guard, everyone,” Erza commanded, giving voice to Lucy’s trepidations.

The four of them combed through the underbrush, the foliage soft and yielding beneath their tread, while Happy floated at head-height.

At the crunch of leaves to the left, Happy flew to Natsu’s shoulder. Out from behind a brush, a wolf slinked forward. The snarl at the animal’s fanged mouth promised pain without discrimination or mercy.

“Now now, my darlings,” a smooth voice called from the shadows. Several more wolves stalked into view from the perimeter, and a man materialized next to one. He was tall and thin, with limbs that seemed much too long for his body. He kept the four mages and Happy within his line of sight as he moved forward.

“Let’s enjoy this altercation, shall we?” he proposed in a silken voice, throwing something in to the air, and the world went black. 

* * *

As she came to consciousness, Lucy felt a pull in the muscles of her arms and shoulders, and her body felt cool and exposed. Raising heavy eyelids, she noted her surroundings as a stone room with one small window. Like she herself, Natsu, Gray, and Erza were stripped but for a loincloth, and hanging from bound wrists from hooks in the ceiling. The man had his back to them and fiddled with something on a table set near the wall to her right.

“Ah, we’ve all joined the party,” he greeted when he turned around, holding a small bowl in his large, thin hands. “I took the liberty of divesting you of your clothing… this will be a very open, honest discussion, and I like the symbolism.

“Before we begin, I—”

“Who are you?” Erza interrupted him – her confident voice a welcome, familiar sound in the wave of Lucy’s waxing fear.

“Yeah, asshole, no one cares about whatever the hell you’re saying,” Natsu added. “Let us out and we’ll fight you fair and square.”

The man, whose face had hardened into stone at Erza’s disruption, smiled at Natsu’s words. “Yes, see, there’s no such thing as a fair fight to me.” He gestured to his body. “I am small and frail, and I always will be. I have learned to be powerful through means other than brawn. It seems you never have,” he finished with a smirk. “That will make this all the more enjoyable. If you haven’t been able to tell, your magic is nullified in this room.”

With this, he went around to each of them in turn and spread the mixture from the bowl across their foreheads. After Gray and Natsu, he paused in front of Erza. Lucy looked to her side to watch him, and she saw his eyes flash with anger. He did nothing, though, just swiped his thumb across her forehead like the boys. Lingering for a moment longer, he looked down at her bare body before smirking into her enraged face.

Lucy sucked in a breath, trying to step away, as he turned to her but her restraints held. He chuckled lowly, stopping in front of her and gazing down at her. Before marking her as he had the others, he turned to the boys. “Do you not find them beautiful?” He asked Gray and Natsu. The man brought a hand up and cupped one of Lucy’s breasts, causing all of the others to yell, threaten, and struggle against their bonds.

Lucy whimpered and leaned back away from him. The man let his hand fall away from her, and Lucy had the distinct feeling he liked the others’ reaction more so than actually touching her.

“We see each other naked a lot more than you’d think,” Gray answered him in a barking tone.

“Hmmm,” the man considered as he turned back to Lucy and brushed his fingers, and the concoction, across her forehead, too. A moment after, he grasped her chin and forced her eyes to meet his. “Well I find you very pleasing, my dear,” he whispered to her in a voice she knew was meant only to fuel her fear. However, Natsu growled from across their loose circle.

“Get the fuck away from her!” Natsu shouted, drawing Lucy’s eyes. His eyes were furious, black and dangerous with a hint of fire, and he had that look about his face, drawn and tense, the one that promised pain without mercy. Lucy had always secretly found this expression thrilling, and she felt hope jump within her. Natsu never lost when he looked like that.

“No use struggling, Salamander,” the man said, nonchalantly, stepping away from Lucy and setting down the bowl on the table. He picked up another, larger bowl, then turned around to watch them.

The stuff smeared across Lucy’s forehead began to burn. It felt like liquid seeping through her skin and skull to envelop her brain in a greasy, hot vice. The pain had her eyes watering and her vision slid out of focus with its force. She could sense and hear the others struggling just the same.

“What you are experiencing is the lowering of your mind’s defenses,” the dark mage spoke. The juxtaposition of his smooth, self-assured tone and the absolute burning pain in her head added to her confusion and instability.

“You see, my power is that of the mind. I can look into yours, and your memories, thoughts, and dreams all become exposed to me.” He smirked and Lucy could tell he was immensely enjoying his own performance. “I hate that mages like you are revered, honored, loved by all when it truth, you are nothing without your magic. You are weak, pathetic human beings who were lucky enough to develop a unique skill. Without that skill, that brute force, you are nothing. You rely on this magic of yours and everything else about you is secondary, an after-thought. I hate mages like you.” He repeated, pushing off from the table and striding quickly over to Gray, on Lucy’s left. Dipping fingers into the bowl, he trailed fingers through the liquid.

“I have never been good with brute strength, so I was forced to develop other parts of myself. Without my magic, I still stand out, but with my magic, I am more than exceptional. You will see – I will need very little magic to defeat you all.” He swung his gaze around to each of them in turn. “I will bring each of you to your knees with just words.”

Lucy’s heart clenched at his statement. The pain her head no longer incapacitated her, but it left her hazy and a bit numb. She saw that Gray, Natsu, and Erza were not fazed by the man’s threats. Indeed, she knew just how little stock Natsu placed on words. Lucy herself tried to look beyond the words to discover his plan of attack… Using memories and words to defeat someone? How did that make sense.

With his attention back on Gray, the man finally lifted his fingers out of the bowl and dragged them across Gray’s chest. The mixture was runny and left drips rolling down her comrade’s skin in addition to the lines the man deliberately drew. “The potion on your foreheads makes your mind more easily accessible to me, like the appetizer to our meal. And this potion,” he dipped his fingers into the bowl and then raised them once more to Gray’s flesh, “this potion will be the main course.”

He looked into Gray’s eyes. The two stood silently staring at each other, until Natsu began to shout. “Ice princess! Hey, snowflake! Snap out of it!”

Lucy saw Gray’s eyes begin to shine and she felt answering tears in her own. What was happening to her friend? “Gray,” she whispered. Natsu’s gaze snapped to her and for the first time in a long time, she saw fear in his eyes. “It’ll be okay, Lucy,” his voice was hard as he spoke to her. She didn’t believe him, but she nodded anyway. He needed to know she believed in him.

 _“You are weak,”_ the dark mage said, his eyes still locked onto Gray’s. His voice was commanding and impossible to ignore; it ballooned in space around them to fill the very air and echoed in Lucy’s skull even though she knew the words weren’t for her. “ _You are weak, and your existence will forever rely on the sacrifice of those you love. You are a danger to those around you, and you are unworthy of their sacrifices.”_

Gray drew in a breath and fought his tears. The haphazard scrawl of potion on his skin glowed a dark red and, hissing, Gray’s muscles clenched in response to whatever it was doing.

The man smirked and admired his handiwork. He withdrew a small lacryma from the pocket of his trousers and held it in front of Gray’s chest. As he moved away, the orb hovered, suspended, where the man had left it. Every time the potion on Gray glowed, the orb likewise lit up.

Then the man stepped to Natsu. “You,” he said, “you I will enjoy watching suffer.” He sunk his entire hand into the potion and liberally applied it to Natsu’s chest and stomach so that little skin could be seen. With the hand covered in potion, he grabbed Natsu by the jaw and once their eyes made contact, Natsu ceased struggling. Beside him, Gray grit his teeth and struggled to breathe.

“No, Natsu!” Lucy yelled as tears streamed down her cheeks. “What are you doing? Why are you doing this?”

“Lucy,” Erza said and the blonde focused her attention on her instead of Natsu’s prone body. “Lucy, you have to be strong for us.”

“What do you mean, Erza?” Lucy felt dread creep into her heart. Why would Erza ask her to be strong? “You’re the strong ones, I can’t fight him on my own!”

Erza turned to look at her friend. “Lucy, you are a member of Fairy Tail, and you are strong.” The exquip mage smiled, trying to will strength into Lucy. “You are smarter than we are, as well, and I know you can beat him.”

Lucy shook her head, her hair fanning out and covering her face. “You’re wrong, Erza! I need you guys!”

“Oh this is too easy,” the dark mage cooed. His searching had found never looked away from Natsu but a smirk formed on his face. “ _You are right, Igneel left because you are weak. He wanted nothing to do with your hopeless, reckless, weak self. You will never be strong enough to protect those you love.”_

Again, his voice rang out and seemed a physical thing. The girls watched as Natsu gasped, his eyes filling with pain and his mouth opening in a silent scream. The potion painted on his torso flashed a vibrant red as the man set another lacryma to float in front of him.

Erza grit her teeth when the man stopped in front of her. “I believe you know what’s coming, girl?” Erza, not wanting to engage him, simply nodded. When he dragged his liquid-covered fingers across her chest, his touch more caressing than with Gray or Natsu, and she growled when he cupped one of her breasts. Her noise caused him to chuckle and he lightly patted the side of her breast. “Now, now, it won’t be like that.”

He set the bowl down and leaned forward to grasp the sides of Erza’s head.

“Please don’t,” Lucy implored him. Without looking at her, he replied, “Wait your turn, my dear.”

After a moment of gazing into Erza’s dark, blank stare, he hummed. “I had thought those two idiots had beautiful pain, but you, my lovely, have truly stunning pain. Theirs is child’s play to yours.

“ _The suffering you endured as a child has indeed ruined your soul. You are spineless, having abandoned your friends to endure untold misery and suffering. You are a weak, broken woman who’s damaged and unfit for love._ ”

“Ugh,” Erza moaned as the potion burned her skin in response to the incantation.

“Erza,” Gray ground out. “Fight it.” Erza’s eyes were lost to the pain she relived and she did not respond.

Setting a lacryma in front of her, he moved to Lucy.

“Finally we arrive to our time together,” he said with a maniacal light in his eyes that made Lucy shudder.

“Leave her alone,” Natsu gasped as he struggled against the ropes holding up his wrists. His chest shone brightly and he cried out, a sound that struck Lucy to the core of her.

“It’s okay, Natsu,” she reassured, and she felt the tears on her face crinkle in her attempt to smile. “I’m going to be fine.” His eyes narrowed with intensity and that familiar thrill, sharp and exciting, sparked within her. _I can do this._

“It won’t ‘be okay,’ my dear, but it will be fun,” the dark mage promised her. Lucy tilted her head back to keep her eyes on his face, but he moved right past her to the table. _Mixing more potion_ , she noted with dread.

Walking back over to face her, the man bent down to peer at her. “Such a lovely little package,” he commented, and commenced painting the potion upon her skin. If Erza’s handling had been caresses, the man’s fingers moved with suggestive intent upon her. He drew intricate lines with care, emphasizing the shape of her chest and sculpt of her torso. Had not each touch stoked her fear, she would have found the experience delightful and the design beautiful. The mage stepped back to admire his work upon her flesh, then quickly moved to grasp her face between his hands.

“You are a work of art. I must see what you have to offer me, lovely.” His voice was giddy with anticipation. As his dark eyes filled her vision, everything else faded away from Lucy’s notice. His eyes were dark brown pools of promise and she felt him swimming through her memories. Images of Natsu, Gray, Erza, Wendy… her nakama in various forms of anguish. Further back he flew until he found her discovery of her father’s death. He seized on this pain and explored all of her feelings for her father. Fingers of consciousness stroked the pain of her memories and suddenly, the touches burned in frenzied delight.

 _“Their friendship with you is fleeting.”_ His words were stones caging her in. _“Those days traveling – like a lone star stuck in its path across the sky, never to intersect with another – that is your true existence. Loneliness.”_ Loneliness? _“Isolation.”_ Isolation. The darkness descended in her immutable prison. _“In the end, you will mean nothing to your nakama, just as you meant nothing to your father; it will be as if you never existed. Are you even alive? Do you even exist?”_ How… how could she know? What if her life, her dreams, her nakama were all just the fever dream of a desperate, lonely star?

The dark mage stepped away from her. Really, he was not impressed; such a boring truth to drag out of her. Everyone felt lonely; would this truly break her? He thought she’d be more than that. The others were ultimately more exciting… That stunning redhead, especially.

Lucy blinked against the darkness. _Does it matter if I am alive? Does it matter whether this is real or fake?_

 _“Loneliness. Isolation.”_ Yes, she had felt those, she felt them now as if they were the pillars of her existence, but they didn’t hurt. Not like they used to… they were her companions, they helped spur her creativity, they were the wind beneath the wings of her imagination, propelling her to new, wonderful discoveries…

 _“In the end you will mean nothing to your nakama.”_ She considered this. At the end of it all, in whatever final battle they found themselves in, would she be able to participate and make a difference? Would she help her nakama to victory? She felt fiercely that she wanted to, that she could, but would it be so terrible if she didn’t? To catch the glow of Natsu’s victorious smile, Erza’s proud stance, Gray’s cocky smirk… if she meant nothing to them that would be okay. _That would be okay._ She had known and loved them and if that was all she could do, that would be okay.

She took a deep breath, brushing away the remnants of her father’s neglect with a practiced hand; she had come to terms with his abuse long ago.

The potion on her body began to solidify and crack, drawing the attention of the dark mage. Dimly, as the absolute darkness of her cage lightened and fell away, she became aware of her surroundings once more. Opening her eyes and gaining focus, she heard him cluck, mumbling, “That won’t do.” Her eyes followed as he moved again to stand before her.

He paused. “Your pain is very different,” he said, drawing down to look into her face and take her head in his hands once more. The statement washed over in a breeze of indignation, shame, and dread. She recognized the confusion in his features, and she felt a spark of triumph.

“So?” She asked with a lilt of attitude she’d learned from her time in Fairy Tail.

“Please leave her out of this,” Natsu begged, gasping around his own suffering, his own prison of darkness. “We’ll be enough – just let her go.” The dark mage, his hands gently resting on either side of Lucy’s head, turned around and smirked at the boy. “Oh no, she is a prize. Her pain will be glorious – the challenge always enhances the experience.”

Turning back to her, he continued in a thoughtful, inquisitive tone. “You don’t shy away from your pain, not like these fools here. You accept it, have luxuriated in it at times, even. You take it out and explore it, like gallery art, instead of locking it in a basement or trying to bury it. It’s a well-loved room in the house of your heart…

“These fools build over it, like a house balancing on a ball. Their stability rocks back and forth, their grip on their sanity ever-precarious. But you,” his thumbs caressed her temples and Lucy shuddered. “You stick your hands straight into your pain and use it as the very bricks with which to build.

“I will enjoy breaking you.”

He withdrew from her and lifted a lacryma in front of her. Her body sagged as tension released despite the anxiety that still thrummed in her veins. She eyed the glass orb warily where it floated harmless yet menacing. From the bowed position of her head, Lucy glanced around at her teammates and then quickly looked away. Each of them stared, their eyes dead and lost within their own personal hell.

She heard a scuffling sound and the dark mage dragged a stool behind her and sat. She tensed in anticipation until finally he took hold of her head from behind. His large, warm hands and the tenderness of his touch made her stomach curl.

“Your eyes will need to be free for this – free to see the truth of your pain.” And then he was delving deeper into her psyche. Lucy, with him, saw those events in her life that would be forever outlined by the trauma they caused her and he stopped at a few and brought them into clearer focus.

In her field of vision, her father swam as a looming figure over a child. His voice boomed in her ears, loud as thunder, as he shouted how useless, how graceless, how annoying she was.

“But Papa…” she cried out, his harsh words tearing her apart. He was her father! He was supposed to love her, care for her, be with her… _I know I’m nothing like mama_ , she thought, _but she loved me anyway_. Lucy didn’t know, but the potion on her torso and the lacryma both burned vibrantly with the intensity of her pain.

“Yes,” the dark mage crowed with triumph. “Those fools will break themselves, but I will have the honor and pleasure of ruining you, lovely,” he gloated to himself. “You are a feast fit for a king.”

He played around a bit more with the fear and pain her father incited before rolling further back into her memories. He lit up at finding the death of her mother, and grinned. _Let’s change this around a bit…_ And suddenly Lucy’s vision morphed to her mother’s familiar sick room back at their old house. Lacrymas flashed brightly around her mother, monitoring and giving information to the live-in nurse whose face she no longer remembered, but suddenly her mother coughed and sat up. Her mother’s well-loved features, so often set in affection, patience, or joy now revealed a crushing pain that Lucy had never beheld before. Blood spattered onto her mother’s raised hand, onto her gown, onto the bedsheets. Blood began to seep indiscriminately down from her mother from no visible wound, soaking the sheets and dripping down the sides of the bedframe, gathering on the floor and creeping closer.

Lucy screamed with horror, and the dark mage hummed. 

* * *

The man’s words continued to chant inside Natsu’s mind: _‘Igneel left because you are weak.’_ Weak weak weak, he felt weak. He felt like nothing, like a puddle of useless flesh and smoldering embers. He could no more breathe air into his lungs than form a fist let alone call on his dragonslaying magic. _‘He wanted nothing to do with your hopeless, reckless, weak self.’_ He’d been called hopeless so many times. How often had he given up hope of ever finding Igneel? Of ever being reunited with the one being that chose to love him, care for him, guide him? _‘You will never be strong enough to protect those you love.’_ He never could. He was never enough on his own to defeat their enemies; he always relied on the others for help.

What a worthless pile of shit he was. Was this really all he had to show for Igneel’s love and devotion? Was this really all he was? The potion on his skin burned and it made him feel so weak…

Lucy’s sharp, high scream broke into Natsu’s agonizing reverie.

 _Lucy_. Lucy chose him, too. Lucy chose him and Happy and Fairy Tail. The family he’d come to love and she’d fit right in. The cage around his mind and senses faltered around him, and for a moment he could make out his surroundings.

He looked up from where his head had hung, the wall of darkness built by the mage’s words flickered again, and the screaming beckoned to him. Lucy, his best friend. The wall fractured, grey light seeped through, then, as if underwater, his eyes focused on her tormented form.  He grimaced at the sight of her face, stained pink with exertion, pain, and the tears streaming and shining on her skin. The potion spread in delicate designs across her chest and torso and gave off a deep red color making the lacrima balancing in mid-air in front of her nearly buzz with energy. She looked terrified and gutted, her sobs ringing in his ears that he now registered had accompanied his own nightmares as background noise.

“Lucy,” Natsu said in attempt to get her attention but his voice came out only as a weak rasp. “Luce!” He tried again, stronger, and felt the muscles of his arms, shoulders, and back protest as he pulled at his restraints. He looked over to Gray and Erza, but both of them were lost to their own hallucinations. Gray’s jaw worked to fight against his tears and Erza’s lips moved in silent prayer or apology.

 _‘Igneel left because you are weak.’_ Through his confusions, the words stomped across his mind, treading on reality in an attempt to pull him back under. But here he was relying on others to save him! . _‘He wanted nothing to do with your hopeless, reckless, weak self.’_ Natsu choked on the emotion those words brought up. He shook his head.

“I know it must be difficult,” the dark mage behind Lucy spoke to him, “as a team – and a very strong, famous one at that – to watch, helpless, as your comrade needs you. This is a very important lesson for you to learn, indeed.”

Fuck that shit! _Lesson my ass_ , Natsu growled. _I hated learning._ “Lucy! Fight him! You’re stronger than he is, stronger than the shit we’ve gone through!”

He saw her brown eyes blink at the sound of his voice, but the dark mage’s hands tightened in her hair. “Lucy, you’re a Fairy Tail mage! Beat this fucker!” He yelled, even as he saw Igneel in his mind, snarling and snapping his huge, red jaws at him. _‘You will never be strong enough to protect those you love.’_ Igneel’s voice reverberated in Natsu’s head, and tears pinched past his eyes. He whimpered and gasped, “no…" 

* * *

The mage behind Lucy felt the pain quake through her soul at Natsu’s sound of despair. _Interesting_ , he thought, and he renewed his efforts to catalogue her mind. _It seems I can use the boy against her…_  

* * *

Lucy’s heart stopped as she saw Natsu run through by Kagura’s sword. _What?_ A profound silence spread from that point, like the aftershock of an earthquake, and Lucy’s world split at the seams. The two stood in the middle of the Grand Magic Games arena, the sand swirling around them from Kagura’s lightening-fast attack.

Lucy couldn’t breathe. Her eyes saw the tip of the blade, slithered in bright red blood, protrude from Natsu’s back. _Natsu…_ Beside her, Happy screamed and made to fly down to his partner before Erza grabbed his tail. _How could this happen?_ Happy’s sniveling echoed through the haze of her shock but her mind was blank with disbelief. Then, Kagura withdrew her blade with a squelch magnified by the microphone lacrymas fastened to her and Natsu’s collars.

“No,” she breathed. “No,” a roaring sound rushed passed her ears to fill the silence. Lucy’s heart trembled as she fought to accept what she so clearly saw. “No,” panic and revulsion built in her stomach until her limbs shook with denial. “No!” She screamed, the sound protracting into a whine until her throat burned. Her mind tried to make sense of what she was seeing, but as she fought her senses, her stomach lurched. Natsu, blood flooding out of his chest and back to leak onto the ground below. She gulped around her naseau but it was relentless, and she found herself leaning forward and vomiting. Stomach acid burned and pooled in her mouth and she heaved again. She fought against her restraints in an attempt to pull her hair away from her face… What? Her restraints?

She looked back down at Natsu’s prone body and his shaded face. Immediately horror seized her, but she pushed past it. She tried to move down to meet him but her arms and legs were held immobile, stretched above and below her. _What the hell?_

Suddenly she felt fingers dig into her skull and her awareness was thrust back into her mind as a medley of her worst nightmares danced past her.

That’s right, she’s in that dark mage’s lair. Images of Gray, Natsu, and Erza tied up and covered in blood-red, glowing potion seeped into her consciousness. Natsu wasn’t dead. Her muscles relaxed. _He isn’t dead_.

And the crippling pain Lucy felt at the sight of her dead partner molded instantly into a sharp, unbreakable blade of anger. _This son of a bitch just showed me my best friend’s murder!_

The hands at her head shook her forcefully, but the thought stuck. “Stop!” He shouted, and tried to pull her back and back into her past. “Your father, your mother, that stableboy…” he mumbled, but she would not be lured by his manipulations of her pain. _You’re hurting my friends, torturing me…_ Lucy grabbed at the magic within her and it fluttered uselessly. She tried to call it into her hand, into heart, into her mind – anywhere! – so she could summon a celestial spirit.

“There will be none of that!” A loud, furious voice sounded from high above her and she felt the sting of a fierce slap whip her face to the side. Lucy groped more desperately at her magic. Anything!

The dark mage yelled, spittle flying onto her face, “You will not defy me!” He slapped her again, harder, and then grabbed her by the neck. He crowded her personal space and squeezed.

What could she use… Her vision began to dim, but she ignored his presence and the pressure on her throat until she grasped onto the ball of energy – of magic – floating in front of her. She directed her magic out into the waiting receptacle. “Open, gate of the lion – Leo!” She called with all her might through her bruising throat, and the lacryma in front of her and the others all around exploded. 

* * *

Loki finally felt her summons and anxiously followed her command. The scene that greeted him would have given him pause had he not already been watching, restlessly trying to find a way in to save his master.

The dark mage froze with both of his hands around Lucy’s throat.

“You might want to let go of her now,” Loki suggested in a voice that let the mage know just how much Loki was going to enjoy kicking his ass. He saw the man throw some powder at him and back away, but this only made Loki laugh, brushing his hand back and forth in front of him. The horrified expression on the dark mage’s face pleased the celestial spirit immensely.

“I will show you what happens to idiots who harm my master.”

Loki called on Regulus’ power and funneled what little was left of Lucy’s pent up magical energy to punch the dark mage in the stomach with more strength than he had ever used in a single attack. The man flew into the stone wall behind him, the window above shattering and raining jagged glass down onto his prone form. Loki did not pause to gloat.

“Lucy!” He yelled as he fumbled immediately with her bonds. He noted the potion, tears, and vomit that covered her exposed flesh. What the hell had that sick fucker done to her?

The remaining Fairy Tail mages moaned from their own restrained positions; the pressing torment of the magic had let up, but exhaustion from the emotional, physical, and magical toll left them faint. After freeing Lucy and setting her gently on the floor, Loki moved to Erza, whose head hung in shame.

“I’m sorry, Loki. We couldn’t help her,” Erza’s voice was thin and hoarse as she listlessly waited for Loki to untie her bonds. She blinked through her tears and rubbed her wrists, shooing Loki away to free Natsu and Gray. Moving to Lucy’s side, Erza wiped the bile from her chin and chest as best she could before looking around for their clothing.

“Lucy!” Natsu gasped through clenched teeth, trying his best to hold still for Loki. Already his fists were smoking with banked fire, causing Loki to recoil.

“Fine, Natsu. Burn them off then,” he sneered and went to release Gray. The dragonslayer did just that, calling fire to his entire self and eradicating the ropes that held his wrists and feet in a single moment. Taking a step toward his fallen comrade, he wobbled and fell to his knees. The air was thick with disgusting scents – tears, vomit, sweat, pain, fear – and he choked back his regret. _I need to be strong for Lucy_ , he thought. And indeed, he could taste her magic layered over everything else – the fresh, cool tingle of a cloudless night’s breeze. He closed his eyes and concentrated on that aroma, letting it fill his head and lungs and soothe his aching body.

Natsu knelt down beside his best friend, barely acknowledging Erza when she squeezed his shoulder and stood up. Carefully, he slipped his fingers under Lucy’s head and around her shoulders to cradle her to him. She felt thin and insubstantial, a mass of flesh with no bone or muscle, a phantom of his passionate best friend.

Burying his face in her hair, tears burned well-worn tracks down the sides of his face. She didn’t even smell like herself: the pungent fume of the poisons, the salt of her tears, the sting of the bile… Lucy should never have had to go through all of this. If only he had been stronger!

And she had saved them. Again. How did she do that? While looking down at her, he ignored Erza’s voice as she called to him and suddenly clothing hit him full in the face. He quickly brushed aside the garments and glared at the exquip mage.

Gray had hauled over a barrel of water from a corner of the room and they went about cleaning of their and Lucy’s bodies in silence, the intensity of their emotions and thoughts too much to cover up or confront at the moment. Pent-up frustration and vulnerability were not emotions they’d often felt together.

The sound of something very solid meeting soft flesh broke the stillness, and Team Natsu turned toward the source. Loki, having tied up the dark mage, was now proceeding to kick the shit out of him.

Seeing the action, Natsu snarled and felt his body temperature rise.

“Not while touching Lucy, you goddamned idiot!” Gray yelled at him with a push, making him look down in surprise and note the clenched, burning fist on the girl’s stomach. Immediately he surrendered his anger and loosened his fingers.

“Loki, that’s enough,” Erza’s voice cut decidedly through the assault.

Loki turned around, displaying a ferocious set to his face that shocked him; Natsu had seen the playboy celestial spirit take battles seriously before, but the light in his eyes seemed off-balanced and dangerous.

“I’m all for killing the fucker,” Gray commented from his cross-legged position by Lucy’s head.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Erza rebuked with more than a little venom. “We need to take him to the authorities and they have to deal with him fairly. There is a system in place that governs the use of magic, and we must put our faith and trust in it. We will not take matters into our own hands.”

“Who better to decide his fate than us?” Gray challenged. “We’re the ones that know what he’s capable of!”

Erza shook her head. “We will handle this according to the laws of our cou – ”

“Nastu! Lucy!” Happy flew through the broken window at top speed and nearly fell out of the air at the sight of his friends. Huddled together and pulling on clothing, they looked nothing like the companions he was used to traveling and fighting with. Erza was slumped with fatigue, Gray’s body was tense in anger, Natsu held an unconscious Lucy in his arms, and each of them had a dark, haunting shadow across their eyes. Collectively, their faces spoke of haunting nightmares and regret, and a silence so thick and full of sadness that it brought tears to Happy’s eyes without him even knowing why.

“What happened?” he asked in a small voice. Everyone looked away until Loki spoke, scaring Happy, who’d been unaware of his presence.

“This dark mage dealt with mind-manipulation magic,” he offered. “It can be extremely effective and difficult to guard against.”

“Then how did Lucy fight it?” Gray queried. “He was even concentrating his magic on her, so what did she do?”

Loki sighed and knelt down next to Erza so he could join his friends around their prone celestial summoner. “Gray and Natsu, you keep your magic in your bodies and use it amplify your attacks, whether they be fire or ice,” he explained. He reached out a hand to tug down Lucy’s shirt where it had ridden up in Natsu’s embrace. “Lucy works more like Erza, whose magic power fuels her armor and weapons, except Lucy doesn’t fight with her body; she channels her magic through keys and through us spirits.” Loki paused again to shrug. “She was able to channel it through his lacrymas and call me.”

Erza’s head hung in shame. Natsu could tell the explanation made her feel badly about not being able to do the same. “Erza, this wasn’t our kind of fight,” he reassured his teammate even if he felt he should’ve done more, too. Looking down at Lucy, he wondered what she’d seen, what kind of torture it’d been for her. He imagined he, Gray, and Erza had had similar experiences. Remembering the darkness and the doubt, he shuddered; he hadn’t been able to break free of it, although he recalled how the hell had lessened as he thought of Lucy.

The silence around them was thick. A moment later, Loki broke through their thoughts. “I better get going,” he announced. “Lucy used most of her magic to summon me, and I’m only draining her further by staying.” He paused to make eye contact with Natsu before opening his mouth to continue.

Gray cut him off. “Why weren’t you able to come before?” Skepticism laced his usually even tone.

Loki sneered in response and charged to his feet. “You’re right, I must have been too busy with girls to feel the connection with my master,” he mocked with lethal venom. “Don’t you think I was watching the whole time? Don’t you think it drove me crazy not to be able to help the one person I owe my very life to?”

Gray didn’t back down. He remained, coolly, where he was seated with his arms crossed.

Loki turned furious eyes to the side. “He had a barrier set up around this house that prevented outside magic from interfering. I assume you’ll find broken lacrymas out there as well.” He caught Natsu’s gaze again. “Take care of her,” he spoke before he winked out of existence. 

* * *

After Loki returned to the celestial plane, Happy explained that he had contacted the guild back at their hotel, and that Carla, Wendy, and Mirajane would be meeting them at the inn that evening. Natsu had stood, keeping Lucy in his arms, and they’d ambled out of the hut. Erza grabbed the dark mage, but once they made it outside, Natsu stopped.

He turned around and looked at the hut, broken lacryma shards indeed scattered in front of the door and below the window. After a moment, he gently set Lucy down in the grass a good distance away, then returned and called on his dragonslayer power.

“Fire Dragon’s Iron Fist!” He yelled, and held the magic until the hut was nothing but an inconsequential heap of ashes and charred stone.

“You should’ve told me what you wanted to do,” Gray complained as Natsu picked Lucy back up.

Natsu turned around, shifting the girl in his arms so they both would be comfortable, and gave a flicker of a grin. “You could freeze it now if you think it’d do any good.”

“You asshole!”

* * *

Natsu felt the hair on the nape of his neck stand on end, and he quickly took stock of his surroundings. What was causing this sensation? Then he realized Lucy’s heart was beating a bit faster than the slow, sad rhythm of earlier. _She’s waking up._  

He felt her body tense in his arms and he didn’t realize he’d stopped walking until Gray yelled back at him.

“Hold up, guys!” Natsu responded.

At the sound of his voice, he felt Lucy’s muscles relax and she opened her eyes to meet his gaze. And he simultaneously gasped and dropped the celestial summoner. “Ew gross!” Happy exclaimed as he too saw Lucy.

“What the hell, Natsu!” Gray shouted, running over to help Lucy brush leaves off her. Erza strode up to Natsu and grabbed his collar.

“No, Erza – wait!” Natsu yelled in defense. “Look at her eye! I didn’t mean to.” He looked around the fierce warrior. “I’m sorry, Lucy, it’s just…” he grimaced. “Weird.”

Gray’s hands had stilled, poised over Lucy’s shoulder, as she met his eyes. Watching him recoil slightly, she glanced quizzically up at Erza.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, too tired to be hysterical. “I can see just fine…”

Erza shook her head. “You idiots,” she breathed, and bent down to get a closer look at Lucy. “It’s a burst blood vessel – probably from yelling for Loki. She’s fine,” she explained. “Right, Lucy? You feel alright?”

Lucy grimaced. “Alright is a relative term…” she muttered to the semi-rhetorical question, making Erza chuckle. “What’s it look like?”

“Like your one eye is bloodshot but times 10,” Natsu responded helpfully. 

“Gee thanks,” Lucy said as she braced against her knees in order to stand up. Natsu quickly took hold of her waist to help her, and she smiled gratefully at him. Happy snickered, but Erza silenced him with a look.

“Natsu, pick Lucy back up; she’s too weak to walk and we’ve still got a long way to go,” she ordered and then turned around without checking to see if her command was followed.

Lucy blushed but Natsu shrugged, and in only a few minutes, she was back asleep in his hold.

* * *

Back at the inn, each member of Team Natsu found themselves occupied with a solitary task; Erza was cleaning her arsenal, Gray had gone for a walk, Happy went off to search for fish, Natsu was attempting to sleep, and Lucy was bathing. 

Natsu lay on his back on the couch, his eyes closed and a hand behind his head. Unfortunately, his thoughts wouldn’t quiet enough for him to fall asleep.

The dark space of his mind filled with the echo of the dark mage’s words and Lucy’s screams. Frowning, he flopped onto his side. _Shut up, brain!_

“Natsu!” Erza called from across the room in a stern, exasperated voice. “Quit your sighing and restlessness already and either fall asleep or get up!”

Natsu peaked an eye open and took in her glare and the white-knuckled grip she had on the sword she was currently cleaning. He promptly shot up off the couch. “Yes, ma’am!” he answered before striding into the bathroom.

* * *

“Natsu, get the hell out!” Lucy shrieked as her partner strode casually into the bathroom. She moved her hands to cover her more intimate areas (she’d have had to get up to grab the curtain) and felt steam escape her ears as Natsu just shrugged. _Seriously! My privacy and modesty are in shambles_ , she thought. “Natsu!” she growled when he made no move to leave. 

“Ugh, fine, Lucy! It’s not like I don’t see you naked all the time,” _specifically this afternoon_ , went unsaid between them, and he instead yanked a towel off the rack and threw it at her.

Dunking the towel under the water, she wrapped it around herself and sighed. By this time Natsu had taken a seat on the tiled floor next to the tub and dropped a hand over the lip to trail in the bathwater. Lucy raised an eyebrow at him and he smirked, then heated up the water. She sighed again, in pleasure this time, and they were quiet for a moment.

 _Warm water is the world’s best invention_ , she thought. She opened her eyes and looked at her best friend, his face long with lines of worry at his brows and tugging at the corners of his mouth. She felt her heart ache at his grief.

“You know everything that dark mage said isn’t true, Natsu, right?” She offered. “He was just saying stuff to hurt us.”

At the sound of her voice, Natsu locked eyes with her and she saw a vulnerability there that made her angry.

“Igneel loves you, and if he left, he had a very good reason.” She took a deep breath to calm herself before she continued. “You’re the strongest person I know, and it’s a joke to call you weak,” she finished quietly.

“You were the strong one today, Luce,” Natsu commented after a moment, and his voice was deep and strong. She felt it wrap around her as surely as the towel that covered her. “You were incredible.”

She blushed and shrugged. “Everyone gets their five minutes, I suppose,” she said lightly. In truth, she didn’t want to think about what happened. She could feel Natsu’s frustration with her answer but she refused to look at him. _What does he want?_ she wondered.

The water suddenly sloshed around her – stinging her open eyes – and she gasped to see Natsu getting into the tub with her, pants and all ( _he must’ve taken his shirt off…_ she registered absently). His knees knocked against hers as he settled himself across from her.

“What are you doing, you idiot!” She screeched, grabbing at the tub to climb out, then stopped at the sight of his face, all hard, serious lines once more.

“You were incredible today,” he repeated in that low, somber voice. He reached out to her elbow and turn her back toward him. “And every one of us – me most especially – draw strength from you, Lucy. I don’t know what we would’ve done today without you,” his breath caught at the admission, “but I’ll do my best to protect you from now on.”

She settled back down into the water and shook her head. “It’s nothing, Natsu –” she started, but he cut her off.

“I heard what the dark mage said to you.”

And Lucy suddenly felt her skin prickle with dread. _I don’t want to think about what the dark mage said to me_ , she thought, shaking her head. _What he made me see…_

The water announced Natsu’s movement so Lucy was not surprised when she felt his hands grab her shoulders. She shook her head again and tried avoid him.

“I didn’t know what was happening at the time, but on the way back, carrying you, everything replayed again and again in my head and I knew everything he said. And I know there was truth in it, because Erza, Gray, and I talked about what he said to us. He fed on our fears and insecurities, things that were already in our heads. Things we thought and things that happened to us.” Natsu stretched his fingers out to lightly grasp Lucy’s chin. She stubbornly kept her eyes hidden until he slowly let go and drew back.

Lucy shuddered, feeling the emptiness of the space he had occupied cool around her.

She didn’t want to be left alone.

She looked over at him and saw the things he wouldn’t put into words. Her eyes burned in response, her body pulsing with an emotion so profound that she didn’t think at all as she curled herself up against his chest, the water a slick blanket enveloping them both. Tears streamed down her cheeks and were wiped away into waterlogged locks of golden hair. His arms came around her, and gently, firmly, held her close.

Lucy squeezed her eyes shut and sobbed as she thought of her nightmares: the long, slow wasting away of her mother, the abrupt blown-out candle hope of her father, and the crushing knowledge of how much she loved and relied on her best friend, her team, and her guild.

“I’ll always protect you, Lucy,” Natsu said, redundantly, because Lucy knew the arms locked around her were his best promise.

She nodded against his warm collar, and then a smile stretched across tear-damp skin when she felt his chin come to rest again the top of her head.

“And I know you’ll protect me, too.”


End file.
